Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Why?

So, I'm sure those of you that have been keeping up with my blog have notice a pattern here: on the wagon/off the wagon.  Yes, I am finding this "getting to healthy" extremely hard.  I have been pretty down lately and I keep telling myself that I will make the change, the time comes I start and by the end of the day I just give in!   I get so mad at myself!  Then, I just feel like such a loser for knowing how bad I feel about the lifestyle I live and not being able to stay committed to making the changes that I know will make me happier.  Why is it so hard?  I don't understand, why do I keep doing this to myself?!  Why, after all these years of dancing the same dance, can't I just get it?  Why can't I just make it happen?  I mean seriously? is this what I want?! to feel like shit all the time? to not want to be seen? to not want to go out? be touched? I mean seriously?! What's it gonna take? I have to find my "IT" I just have to find it before I lose total hope for myself.  I'm that close.  I just can't keep having this battle with food for the rest of my life.  I don't want that stupid damned battle.  I'm tired of it.  It has taken SO much out of me and out of my life.  I want my life back.
Posted by ChicFitMommy at 7:57 PM
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7 comments:

  1. Good Girl Gone GreenAugust 17, 2011 at 9:52 PM

    Have you ever thought of finding a mentor; someone to support you when things get hard. Someone to talk about your feelings and concerns? Just suggestion. I hope it all works out for you and you win the food battle! Take care!

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  2. SweatyAugust 18, 2011 at 5:12 AM

    Hi! Wanted to thank you for linking up at the Thoughtful Thursday blog hop. We would really appreciate it if you could follow us, the hosts, back :)

    http://dosweatthesmallstuffblog.blogspot.com/

    http://www.foundthemarbles.com/category/thoughtful-thursday/

    http://www.rockanddrool.com/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jessica @FoundtheMarblesAugust 18, 2011 at 12:16 PM

    Oh, I am SO with you there. I just blogged about this recently myself. I've noticed that it is much harder to get back on the wagon after falling then it is to stay on the wagon once I am there. In the same pattern I have learned that I can't have just one bite or I eat the entire plate, bag, box, etc. If only we could get some kind of credits for the items we passed up, then we'd all be on the wagon!

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  4. The Sisters' HoodAugust 18, 2011 at 8:03 PM

    THIS is a roller coaster i know well. My personal fav is when i tell myself that i am going to lose 5 lbs and mange to gain 5 instead.
    So hard, so hard ... just bought The Shred ... you may hear my screams from FLA ;)

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  5. ChicFitMommyAugust 19, 2011 at 8:45 AM

    THanks for the feedback!:)

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  6. MayraAugust 19, 2011 at 11:34 AM

    I'll be your support system :(

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  7. FatGirlAugust 27, 2011 at 7:23 PM

    You were right, its exactly how I was feeling!
    Im following your blog now <3
    I hope we can help motivate each other!

    ReplyDelete

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